Monday, April 5th, 2004
Go Straight To Hell Boys
I saw Hellboy this weekend, and have nothing bad to say. Visually, it’s nearly perfect – everyone and everything looks terrific, with Ron Perlman perfectly cast as the titular demon. Visuals are apparently director Guillermo del Toro’s strong point and he doesn’t do anything to contradict that reputation. There’s a lot of humour and good frenetic energy. What there isn’t a lot of is plot or exposition – the main storyline with Rasputin trying to destroy the world is pretty patchy. It doesn’t really get into more detail than what I just said – Rasputin tries to destroy the world. Because he’s the bad guy and that’s the sort of thing that bad guys do. Hellboy excepted, most of the rest of the characters are left pretty underdeveloped, but they get away with by using pretty time-tested archetypes (stereotypes?). You know what the deal is with each character because you’ve seen them dozens of other times in other films in other incarnations. Not great storytelling, but sufficient for a popcorn flick. I’ve never really read the comic – just some short stories or online comics – but I’ve been advised that the film was very faithful to the source material, which seems a little like damning it with faint praise. Visually impressive and thin on the storytelling, but fun enough overall to let the shortcomings slide. I could pick it apart if I felt so inclined, but I enjoyed it so I’ll leave it be.
Fox has cancelled Wonderfalls. Why? Because they’re stupidheads. And they suck ass. Cancelled after four episodes… what’s the point? Why invest in it in the first place? So you can replace it with some other ass-sucking feces-spewing craptacular reality show about people willing to utterly degrade themselves so they can be mocked in the pages of US Weekly? How do they calculate viewership, anyway? Is it still with those ridiculous Neilson family boxes that purports to provide an accurate sampling of viewership numbers? It saddens me to think that all the hours I spent watching television as a child didn’t make a difference for the shows I liked one way or another. I can only hope it finds life on another network or on DVD. Or else I’ll… stew quietly, for the most part. Dumbasses. To help ease you through these troubled times, The Big Ticket has an mp3 of the Andy Partridge-penned theme song for you to download and play ad nauseum while sobbing uncontrollably.
This pic of Alanis Morrissette in a naked suit at last night’s Juno awards is far more disturbing to me than a million Janet Jackson nip slips. What the hell is that coming out of her crotch? It looks like Prince’s head.
An American English teacher in Japan assigns his students The Penny Arcade Remix Project. They’re practically zen.
Epic will be re-releasing Franz Ferdinand’s self-title debut domestically in the US on April 20. It’s already been available in Canada at domestic prices for the past month, on account of the fact that we’re much more hip and forward-looking than our dear American cousins…
Ellipses = joke. No hate mail, please.
np – Old 97’s / Too Far To Care