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Monday, April 5th, 2004

Go Straight To Hell Boys

I saw Hellboy this weekend, and have nothing bad to say. Visually, it’s nearly perfect – everyone and everything looks terrific, with Ron Perlman perfectly cast as the titular demon. Visuals are apparently director Guillermo del Toro’s strong point and he doesn’t do anything to contradict that reputation. There’s a lot of humour and good frenetic energy. What there isn’t a lot of is plot or exposition – the main storyline with Rasputin trying to destroy the world is pretty patchy. It doesn’t really get into more detail than what I just said – Rasputin tries to destroy the world. Because he’s the bad guy and that’s the sort of thing that bad guys do. Hellboy excepted, most of the rest of the characters are left pretty underdeveloped, but they get away with by using pretty time-tested archetypes (stereotypes?). You know what the deal is with each character because you’ve seen them dozens of other times in other films in other incarnations. Not great storytelling, but sufficient for a popcorn flick. I’ve never really read the comic – just some short stories or online comics – but I’ve been advised that the film was very faithful to the source material, which seems a little like damning it with faint praise. Visually impressive and thin on the storytelling, but fun enough overall to let the shortcomings slide. I could pick it apart if I felt so inclined, but I enjoyed it so I’ll leave it be.

Fox has cancelled Wonderfalls. Why? Because they’re stupidheads. And they suck ass. Cancelled after four episodes… what’s the point? Why invest in it in the first place? So you can replace it with some other ass-sucking feces-spewing craptacular reality show about people willing to utterly degrade themselves so they can be mocked in the pages of US Weekly? How do they calculate viewership, anyway? Is it still with those ridiculous Neilson family boxes that purports to provide an accurate sampling of viewership numbers? It saddens me to think that all the hours I spent watching television as a child didn’t make a difference for the shows I liked one way or another. I can only hope it finds life on another network or on DVD. Or else I’ll… stew quietly, for the most part. Dumbasses. To help ease you through these troubled times, The Big Ticket has an mp3 of the Andy Partridge-penned theme song for you to download and play ad nauseum while sobbing uncontrollably.

This pic of Alanis Morrissette in a naked suit at last night’s Juno awards is far more disturbing to me than a million Janet Jackson nip slips. What the hell is that coming out of her crotch? It looks like Prince’s head.

An American English teacher in Japan assigns his students The Penny Arcade Remix Project. They’re practically zen.

Epic will be re-releasing Franz Ferdinand’s self-title debut domestically in the US on April 20. It’s already been available in Canada at domestic prices for the past month, on account of the fact that we’re much more hip and forward-looking than our dear American cousins…

Ellipses = joke. No hate mail, please.

np – Old 97’s / Too Far To Care

By : Frank Yang at 9:47 am
Category: Uncategorized
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  1. Gary Campbell says:

    A few additional notes:

    yup, Hellboy bit the big one. What I thought was strange was that the Toronto Star, Now, Eye AND the National Post all gave it 4 stars. I mean, what’s up with that? I guess this confirms that I should be reading the Globe, which gave it the 2 stars I think the movie deserved.

    Re: Show cancellation… I read an interesting article a short while ago saying that the TV networks are headed straight for implosion. The comment was made saying that the networks aren’t giving shows enough time to develop. Something like Fraiser or Friends had a pretty patchy first season, but after the inital 22 episodes, the actors had figured out their characters and fans had become endeared to them. The problem today being that potentially great shows get axed too quickly. How many shows are left on TV with the 10 year lifespan of Friends or Fraiser…? Nothin’

  2. Ryan Waddell says:

    What? Wonderfalls cancelled??? That show is BRILLIANT! First the fuckers move it to Thursday night, putting it up against The Apprentice and CSI… arguably two of the highest rated shows out there… and then they cancel it. I hope this gets released on DVD soon then, as I LOVE this show.

  3. sam says:

    whatthefuck?? thank god i taped the first 3 shows (i realized the 4th show had been moved to thursdays friday morning).

    with all the great buzz this show was getting. are these guys doing this on purpose??? my so-called life, sportsnight, and now wonderfalls.

    many other shows are sucking ass. pull those first. wtf?

  4. Ryan Waddell says:

    Although, just taking a peak at that article… they’re pulling as their news source a post on a Buffy fansite? How reliable is this?

  5. sam says:

    ask fox to bring wonderfalls back: askfox@foxinc.com

  6. Frank says:

    Ive done some digging and I can’t find anything officially confirming Wonderfalls’ cancellation in the news. There’s pre-emptive eulogies being written thanks to its 9pm Thursday timeslot, but nothing officially saying it’s dead. I fully expect it is, though.

  7. Frank says:

    check out this message board:

    http://…/

    seems like the show is indeed cancelled. BASTARDS.

  8. Carla says:

    A sure sign that FOX is about to cancel a show is when it messes with its scheduling. This happened to the brilliant Freaks and Geeks and the not as brilliant but hilarious Undeclared. As soon as I found out they moved Wonderfalls’s time slot, I knew it was doomed.

    By the way, I received my special collector’s box set edition of Freaks and Geeks today, therefore making this discussion of cancelled FOX shows quite apt.

  9. Five Seventeen says:

    Though I haven’t seen the show, it suprises me that they would cancel it. 3 shows?? That’s barely enough time to let the word circulate about the show. And to be honest, these days I prefer to wait a season and rent the show.

    I found an article through TvshowsonDVD.com that makes interesting reading: http://…/

    And Joel Surnow (of tv’s 24 and Nikita) is talking about straight to video spinoffs of 24 just for DVD…

    http://…/

    Personally, I think the networks should dig into their vaults and start designing shows to take advantage of the new market.

    Years ago I thought it would be a great idea to did out old pilot episodes of failed tv shows and re-air them documentary style: an hour and a half perhaps, showing the episode (hour long, or 2 half-hour) intercut with some interviews.

    I mean, who really wants to see Punky Brewster or Quantum Leap or Starsky and Hutch on TV that wouldn’t buy the entire season? I would probably watch an episode to see if it was a good as I remembered, but that’s about it.

    I read somewhere that theatrical releases were in most cases just teasers for the DVD release these days, why not do the same for TV?

    3 shows… and they probably have 2 more filmed.

  10. Frank says:

    four episodes aired, NINE more completed. They have a full half-season ready to air. But no, they have to air some retarded plastic surgery reality show instead.

    These people need to be napalmed.

  11. Frank says:

    Not only did they take away my one excuse to stay home on a Friday night, but my #1 TV crush is now off the air. Sob.

  12. Five Seventeen says:

    Carla, I got my copy of the collector’s box set the other day too! It is the best box set I own and the amount of special features rivals the Lord of the Rings extended cuts. I can’t imagine any other show that they would do this for.

    I also got Season 4 of Homicide: Life on the Street, which is pretty bare bones as far as features goes. But, at least the networks gave Homicide 7 seasons to try and gain an audience.

    btw. I really like this quote from the article I mentioned above:



    THR: You buy a music CD and listen to it over and over again. How many people play movies again?

    Beeks: It’s a strange phenomenon, and I think it’s more akin to books than to music. People buy books even though they can go to the library and basically get them for free. This is a collectible society. And as a discretionary purchase, DVDs are cheap.

    — from http://…/

  13. Five Seventeen says:

    here y’are Frank http://…/

  14. kyle says:

    hey, Franz Ferdinand’s record came out here in the US back on March 9th :)

    so it’s just a US re-release on Epic then

  15. Paul says:

    Yeah, Domino *does* have a US presence.

  16. Josh Groban says:

    I agree, the FRANZ cd has been out here in the States for a month now.

    Surely you must be taking the piss about being more forward-looking….you were winking when you said that, right?

    (BTW-Love your blog….& all Canadians!Peace.)

  17. Frank says:

    yah, joke about that. I forgot that the FF disc was also released in the US on the 9th. I suppose I could have found that out with a minimum of fact-checking, but that’s still more than none, which is the amount I prefer.

  18. Josh Groban says:

    No worries.

    I love your website. Keep up the good work.

  19. kyle says:

    i too, love your site, i was just givin’ ya some crap :)

    wonder if the Epic one will be any diff, probably not. but i’d hate if they included that bonus disc w/ it and sold it for dirt cheap (though i only paid like $9.99 US for the Domino ver)