Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
Talking To Nigerians
I never get Nigerian scam emails, and feel pretty neglected about it. BUT the luck of the Irish was with me today – I not only got an email but the sender even contacted me by Yahoo Messenger! Fantastic.
browngumel: do you get my mails
f2yang:strong> I don’t think so. I don’t know who you are?
browngumel: just go to you box and get back to me ok
f2yang:> what’s this about?
browngumel: are you there
f2yang: in my mailbox? yes
f2yang: what’s this regarding?
browngumel: you see i will like you to assist me to get this money out from the bank
browngumel: this money belongs to one mrs billings who died in a plane crash together with his family
f2yang: wow, that’s terrible
browngumel: ever since than my banking has been looking fir the nexr of kin of the man to come and claim the money but known have shown face
f2yang: that’s really tragic
browngumel: so a bank in the bank i decided to contact you so that you will come as the next of kin to the man who died
f2yang: man who died? I thought you said it was MRS Billings?
f2yang: I can’t imagine why I’d be listed as next of kin. I haven’t spoken to Mrs Billings in many years
f2yang: we had a falling out some time ago
f2yang: how much money are we talking about?
browngumel: so my dear i will like you to indicate your interest so that i will tell you what next to do ok
browngumel: i will be sending you the detailed information of this transaction so that you will go through it and get back to me
f2yang: how much money will I get?
browngumel: remember that i am going to give you directive on what you will tell the bank so that the will not doubt your claim as the next of kin to the deased ok
f2yang: how much how much how much?
f2yang: I’m saving up for an operation.
f2yang: some of that Botox that everyone is talking about.
browngumel: look i will give you the detailed information ok
f2yang: this isn’t going ot be a violation of my parole, is it?
browngumel: we are talking about 8.5million us dorllars
f2yang: wow, I could get Botox for my whole family
f2yang: Mrs Billings was loaded!
browngumel: we are going to follow adue banking proccess
f2yang: Wait, do I need a bank account for this to work?
browngumel: it is when you have submmited the appilication to the bank that the will atend to you ok
f2yang: I don’t have a bank account
f2yang: I lost all my money in a pork rind futures insider trading scandal
browngumel: then which means you will have to create a new account
browngumel: but before that i will forword to you the appilication text that you will forword to the bank ok
f2yang: I don’t know if the banks will let me. They have posters up instructing the tellers not to deal with me.
f2yang: This goes back to that parole thing I was talking about
browngumel: may be tomorrow i will forword it together with the detailed information ok$
f2yang: This is very exciting
f2yang: This is the best St Patrick’s day present ever.
browngumel: so i will get back to you tomrrow
f2yang: I can’t wait
browngumel: try as you can to get back to me
browngumel: or you can call me on my private line
browngumel: or you can give me yours so that i can call you with it
f2yang: I don’t have a phone
browngumel: ok if so you than call me today so that we can talk more on this
browngumel: i am about to close work now in the office
f2yang: okay! Have a good night!
f2yang: Watch out for the badgers!
browngumel: ok bye
I hope they get in touch again tomorrow!
And yeah, I’ve already sent this on to the RCMP – they’ve got a website dedicated to busting the scams.
np – Ted Leo & The Pharmacists / The Tyranny Of Distance