Wednesday, March 17th, 2004

Talking To Nigerians

I never get Nigerian scam emails, and feel pretty neglected about it. BUT the luck of the Irish was with me today – I not only got an email but the sender even contacted me by Yahoo Messenger! Fantastic.

browngumel: do you get my mails

f2yang:strong> I don’t think so. I don’t know who you are?

browngumel: just go to you box and get back to me ok

f2yang: nope

f2yang:> what’s this about?

browngumel: are you there

f2yang: in my mailbox? yes

f2yang: what’s this regarding?

browngumel: you see i will like you to assist me to get this money out from the bank

browngumel: this money belongs to one mrs billings who died in a plane crash together with his family

f2yang: wow, that’s terrible

browngumel: ever since than my banking has been looking fir the nexr of kin of the man to come and claim the money but known have shown face

f2yang: that’s really tragic

browngumel: so a bank in the bank i decided to contact you so that you will come as the next of kin to the man who died

f2yang: man who died? I thought you said it was MRS Billings?

f2yang: I can’t imagine why I’d be listed as next of kin. I haven’t spoken to Mrs Billings in many years

f2yang: we had a falling out some time ago

f2yang: how much money are we talking about?

browngumel: so my dear i will like you to indicate your interest so that i will tell you what next to do ok

browngumel: i will be sending you the detailed information of this transaction so that you will go through it and get back to me

f2yang: how much money will I get?

browngumel: remember that i am going to give you directive on what you will tell the bank so that the will not doubt your claim as the next of kin to the deased ok

f2yang: how much how much how much?

f2yang: I’m saving up for an operation.

f2yang: some of that Botox that everyone is talking about.

browngumel: look i will give you the detailed information ok

f2yang: this isn’t going ot be a violation of my parole, is it?

browngumel: we are talking about 8.5million us dorllars

browngumel: no

f2yang: wow, I could get Botox for my whole family

f2yang: Mrs Billings was loaded!

browngumel: we are going to follow adue banking proccess

f2yang: Wait, do I need a bank account for this to work?

browngumel: it is when you have submmited the appilication to the bank that the will atend to you ok

f2yang: I don’t have a bank account

f2yang: I lost all my money in a pork rind futures insider trading scandal

browngumel: then which means you will have to create a new account

browngumel: but before that i will forword to you the appilication text that you will forword to the bank ok

f2yang: I don’t know if the banks will let me. They have posters up instructing the tellers not to deal with me.

f2yang: This goes back to that parole thing I was talking about

browngumel: may be tomorrow i will forword it together with the detailed information ok$

f2yang: This is very exciting

f2yang: This is the best St Patrick’s day present ever.

browngumel: so i will get back to you tomrrow

f2yang: I can’t wait

browngumel: try as you can to get back to me

browngumel: or you can call me on my private line

browngumel: +228-9091645

browngumel: or you can give me yours so that i can call you with it

browngumel: ok

f2yang: I don’t have a phone

browngumel: ok if so you than call me today so that we can talk more on this

browngumel: i am about to close work now in the office

f2yang: okay! Have a good night!

f2yang: Watch out for the badgers!

browngumel: ok bye

I hope they get in touch again tomorrow!

And yeah, I’ve already sent this on to the RCMP – they’ve got a website dedicated to busting the scams.

np – Ted Leo & The Pharmacists / The Tyranny Of Distance

By : Frank Yang at 3:35 pm
Category: Uncategorized
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  1. RSL says:

    yeah, i got my first email just the other day. but you got im’ed! lucky sneaks!

  2. Ryan Waddell says:

    That’s hella awesome! Nobody ever im’s me to see if I got their spam. I wasn’t aware of that RCMP Nigeria busting page though, I’ll have to forward mine along the next time I get one (although admittedly, they aren’t very frequent)

  3. jen says:

    Dude, that is so fucking funny. "Pork rinds" always makes me snicker.

  4. Victor Ng says:

    They gave you a real fucking phone number?

    Shiit. People are even _dumber_ than I previously thought.

  5. Pauly D says:

    Too damn hilarious to not tell the world about.

    Good job on that!

  6. forksclovetofu says:

    I daresay the badgers should watch out for him.

  7. sam says:

    why would he give you his number – and then ask you for yours instead?? lol

    that was one hilarious post, dude :) thanks.

  8. Five Seventeen says:

    Weren’t you and Mrs. Billings having an affair? She must have mentioned you. So what are you going to buy? I imagine you’ll be stuck with only about 2-3 million (you know after taxes, etc.), but still pretty good.

  9. graig says:

    I hurt myself laughing… nice one frank!

    Badgerbadgerbadgerbadger, mushroom mushroom!

  10. Andy says:

    And you’ve never read a Fletch book?

    I don’t want botox. I want a new ankle.

  11. Carla says:

    Hey, didn’t Mr Billings have an affair with yo momma and you’re his lovechild?

  12. Eva says:

    Poor Mrs Billings!