Thursday, June 19th, 2003

Drive-By Fader

I’m feeling compelled to offer a little commentary on some of the headlines in today’s paper.

‘No court martial’ for U.S. airmen. All of those who are surprised by this, hands up. You’re excused. No sir, gotta support our boys in uniform during these troubled times. Even the drugged-up, homicidal ones who don’t follow orders. After all, they only killed four Canadians, and last we checked they weren’t it the “With us” column – it was probably only a matter of time before someone decided the Canucks were hiding weapons of mass destruction in our beaver tails and hockey rinks and came up here to bomb us anyway.

Coffin linked to Jesus is a fraud, experts rule. Now I’m not religious by any stretch of the imagination, but I have to admit I was excited when this ossuary first made the news last year, and I’m disappointed now that it’s likely a hoax. I’m always willing to have my notions of things challenged – even the veracity of Christianity – particularly with something resembling hard concrete proof. Maybe next time, guys.

Why Ottawa said yes to making it legal. The ‘it’ in question being gay marraige. Based on the timing of the Ontario Court of Appeal’s decision last week (a week and a half before Pride Week), I can only surmise it was to try and boost tourism dollars as gay couples from all over North America and tie the knot. Very canny, fellows. And congratulations to everyone to whom this is a victory.

I am an official BLUE STAR ebay-er. 50 happy transactioins for me! I would like to take this opportunity to dedicate this blue star to those out there who, because of circumstances beyond their control, will never even get the chance to acquire 50 positive feedbacks… You know who you are…

William Katt. Why on earth do I have the name of the actor from The Greatest American Hero at my instant disposal? In my utility belt of useless facts and trivia? Surely that sector of my grey matter can be better used for stuff like, oh, shopping lists or something.

You know what’s creepy? Baby corn, that’s what. I mean, they taste fine and all, but they’re certainly not naturally occurring. And whose sick idea was it to genetically engineer such a thing? “Man, this corn is good. But you know what would make it even better? If it was TINY…”

Fucked up.

np – Pavement / Westing (By Musket And Sextant)

By : Frank Yang at 8:19 am
Category: Uncategorized
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  1. 6/19/03 11:23 am

     Valerie says:

    Congrats on the blue star and I won’t argue your point about baby corn, but it’s just so yummy.

  2. 6/19/03 11:56 am

     Five Seventeen says:

    "What did the baby corn say to the mommy corn?"

    Baby Corn. well, I know it came after 1921 with the emergence of hybrid corn (or at least hit it’s stride sometime after then) iodized salt (unrelated) and two years after the boysenberry (named after the man who grew them Rudolf Boysen) and that it’s inital origins are in the Americas. The basic difference is that baby corn seeds are planted closer together and harvested earlier. But it’s really just regular corn.

    Oh yeah, the punchline.

    "Where’s Pop Corn?"

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